Be-Coming: An Erotic Encompassing

“A safe container to explore my erotic nature and erotic innocence – to unmask and sink into nature – to connect with both my deep joy and deep sadness around my sexuality – to be nourished by mama earth (the land, water, plants, place spirits) together with other human animals – to be open and authentic!”

– 2019 Participant

Event Flow:

– What is the schedule like?

You are welcome to arrive on the land anytime after 2 PM on Saturday, August 14th to set up, ground yourself, share dinner with the group and start getting to know people. The event officially opens Saturday night after dinner with a group ritual that will help us connect to the land, shed our domesticity, and connect with each other as our wild selves. The event will conclude Wednesday morning with another group ritual to help us integrate our experiences and walk back into the world ready to share our learnings. The interim days will have whole group events that invite us to go deeper, and each night we will have a group activity including a sensual Bonobo Feast and the Dance Eros ecstatic dance. Around these scheduled experiences, is unstructured time, supported by a desire and offering board.

– How will this event be led? 

This event follows more of an “unconference” or “rewilding” type approach. We will facilitate quite a bit at the beginning of the event to get us all on the same page and solidify the container. But then will have structures and “unstructures” in place to invite you to bring your own magic to the event and create or discover the next activity that feels right. For instance, we have many skilled guides as attendees. One of them might offer a Vulvassage exploration down by the river, or another might suggest a medicinal plant walk, or a sensory-focused hike through the woods. Or someone might start playing music and a contact jam pops up like a mushroom.

– Who is organizing this event?

This event was conceived and fertilized under a blanket in the forest many years ago. Since that fateful day, Amanda and Kendall have been dreaming into making our visions for the world become a reality. Amanda and Kendall immediately recruited Victor to be a part of the visioning process after experiencing his ability to open portals to worlds where we are still at one with our soft animal bodies.

Amanda is a Certified Somatica Sex, Intimacy and Relationship coach. Kendall calls herself a “pleasure activist” — she believe the path to creating a more sustainable, just, beautiful world is created by choosing pleasure. Victor is a somatic sexuality and relationship educator, erotic permaculturist, and anti-oppression community educator.

You can learn more about each of them here:
Amanda: https://intimacyconservatory.com
Kendall: https://choosepleasure.wordpress.com
Victor: website coming soon

– What is Dance Eros?

Dance Eros is an eros-inclusive dance experience where movement, eros and community are invited into the room to play together in safety, consensuality, celebration and sanity. It is a bonobo-esque dance where eros is understood as a sovereign and community precious resource to be expressed and shared rather than withheld. We will invite the erotic into the dance through the front door, proudly in broad daylight rather than sneaking her in on they sly, unowned and unnamed, through the back door. We will invite the erotic into the dance however she arrives; from the subtle to the oevert, from the sexual to the sensual, from the solo to the communal!

– What is the Bonobo Feast?

Our closest animal kin with whom we share 98.7% of our DNA are the bonobos! And like us, they truly, truly enjoy their unbridled sexuality. Unlike us, they are completely free in their sexuality using it to resolve conflicts, say simple hellos, express the joy and excitement of an abundant meal! In the Bonobo Feast we will revel in the sensual celebration of food; of feeding ourselves and feeding each other while playing with the primal eros of taking in nurturance and sharing abundance. We will invite in our bonobo intelligence for play, pleasure and feasting!

– What is the balance of structured/unstructured time? 

There is a lot of time here to really sink in and let your desires unfold. Here you will find it easy to spend hours in deep relationship with the land (vs. the style of many events where you are simply attending a bunch of workshops on the land). Both are great, and we seek a balance. We ask that you attend the opening ritual on Saturday evening and the closing ritual on Wednesday morning, but after that, we will be creating this together, with people finding their own rightness with full group/small group/dyad/solo time. 

– What do I do with the unstructured time?

Anything you want! Swim in the river. Sweat in the sauna. Offer to lead others in a yoga practice. Make music on the lawn. Make love in the forest. Call a prayer circle. Take a nap. Sit alone in the woods. Allow your wild animal body to do exactly, and only, what it wants to do.

We will have a desire and offering board. We encourage participants to consider their deepest longings and post them on the board to find others who want to engage.

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– Do I have to do all the group activities?

We ask that everyone come to the opening and closing rituals. All other activities, group events, or spontaneous opportunities that may arise are entirely optional. This is a chance to practice your radical awareness of what your body wants to do, and to practice your yes and no.

– Do I have to do volunteer work?

There is no required volunteer service. We do ask that you stay aware of your surroundings and help if something is needed:  straighten up and wipe down the bathroom after you’re done, bring abandoned cups/mugs back to the kitchen, help restock safer-sex supplies in the forest if something runs out, etc. 

– Will there be nudity?

Undoubtedly. Nudity is encouraged in the wild and allowed in the commons. Clothes are required in the domestic house space.

– Will there be sexual activity?

Probably. None of the group rituals where everyone is expected to attend will request or require sexual activity. Any sexual activity will take place between consenting participants in the wild space, or in tents/cabins/RV’s. There will also be an optional, group self-pleasure circle. Sensual energy and engagement will be encouraged during the rituals and is welcome in the commons, including the dance room and sauna. We ask that the domestic house space remain free of sexual energy or activity. We expect each person to follow their yes and no, and to listen carefully for the yes and no from others. Support will be available for those who request it (see below).

– Will this be an orgy in the woods?

Maybe.

Ecosexuality:

– What does ecosexual mean?

EcoSexuality is a philosophy, a way of relating, a spiritual path and a social movement. It is a redefinition of humans’ relationship with Earth:  from seeing Earth as a self-sacrificing mother to treating Earth as a lover with whom we have a fully reciprocal relationship — we give as much as we take. EcoSexual practices are any that are integrative, regenerative, symbiotic, abundant, intimate, inclusive, and sustainable for all beings and the Earth herself. EcoSexuality is a revolutionary movement to create a more beautiful world and to move closer to that reality through love, humor, passion, and pleasure.

– How does this event relate to the ecosex events over the past few years?

Amanda, Kendall and Victor met at the Surrender: An Ecosex Convergence event in 2016. Some participants of this event also attended that event. This event is inspired by what we learned and experienced at previous events. 

“Be-Coming was the most exquisite container I have ever been held in for my soft animal body to unwind and begin to rewild in nature. I am so thankful to the facilitators and all of the love and care they put into hand picking/ custom designing each aspect of this retreat to make it special to all of the individuals that comprised the group. I will “Be Coming” back next year.”

– 2019 Participant

For this gathering, we will have access to 17 acres of land ranging from the domestic comfort of home, to the communal village, to the fertile forest and wild water. The land supports a beautiful home that was designed and built using ancient vastu energetic principles and Vedic readings. You can learn more about this special space at http://liminalia.space.

The home includes a spacious studio that we will be using for yoga, dancing, or other movement activities that are supported by amplified music and level ground.

Outside the home, there is a barn and stalls that are home to two goats, two dogs, and two donkeys. There are also a collection of small cottages that sleep 2 to 6 people each. There is plenty of land for camping, hanging hammocks, and finding private space. 

Rock Creek runs along the property. It is shallow, but a small swimming hole is a short walk from the house. Grassy river banks are available for lounging and enjoying drying off after a swim. Two fire pits serve as gathering and ritual space. There is also a sauna adjacent to the yoga studio that will be available.

A Sacred Cedar tree presides over the whole area and is a powerful conduit for connecting to the divine. The wild forest just beyond the fence invites you to discover its magic and mystery. 500 year old Cedar stumps and nurse logs nourish the next generation of silent giants. Elk roam wild throughout the land and murmurations of birds fly overhead. For more information on this history of this land, including the native peoples of the region, please scroll to the bottom of this page.

The land is excited for our visit. They have requested of us to court them, treat them well, to show reverence and responsiveness, and to offer our immense gratitude. They have asked us to bring our wild play to their shores and fields and groves of trees. They have requested for our support as this land expands into its current and future role as a liminal space.

Logistics:

If you prefer sleeping inside, you may choose from a bed in one of the many cabins on the property. The cabins are heated and have power. How many cabins we open, will depend on how many attendees want to stay in one. Your cabin stay will include pillows, sheets, blankets and towels.

If you prefer sleeping outside, bring your tent or hammock. There are many camping space options, from the lawn and shaded wood lot to the dense forest or along the creek. If you chose to camp, be sure you bring your own collection of towels (for showering, swimming, and sauna).

Food

The event includes twelve meals and snacks lovingly made with local, seasonal ingredients. We will do our best to accommodate dietary restrictions and all meals will have gluten free options.

Toilets/Hygiene

The house has two bathrooms with showers available. The barn has one bathroom with a steam shower indoors, and a double shower outside. The Red Shed also has a double outdoor shower to bathe under the stars. There are also three outhouses around the property.

We will have stations set up for hand washing and dishwashing and encourage everyone to practice excellent hygiene practices.

We ask that if you are naked, that you have a towel or sarong available to sit on.

We will provide safer sex supplies and ask you to practice good clean love (including informing yourself about their proper use and disposal, and to always leave no trace!)

History of the Land

The yoga-farm is located on the banks of Rock Creek, on the Eastern side of the Northern Oregon Coast Range mountains in the town of Vernonia, Oregon. Rock Creek is fed from atop that mountain range and travels 26 miles before feeding the Nehalem River, which goes on to reach the Pacific Ocean. 

Over 30 million years ago, the land on which we will gather was covered by an arm of the sea. Over time, the land was uplifted permanently from the sea leaving over 2,000 feet of marine sediment laden with fossilized evidence of this area’s oceanic past. 

The Nehalem Valley was home to dense old growth forests whose massive trunks and towering canopies must have been a sight to behold. The forest canopy was so thick, that there was little underbrush for large grazing animals like deer and elk. 

Local historians believe that the native Chinook and Clatskanie peoples who lived throughout the region rarely came into Vernonia or the surrounding areas and had no settlements in the area because hunting, fishing, and gathering were far easier along the banks of the Nehalem River as compared to the dense rainforest of the valley. Other resources who are familiar with the Northwest and the Native Peoples and how they used trees for ceremony, very much believe that Native People were on this land and treated it, and the ancient Cedar tree here, as a sacred site. (For more on these native peoples, please see below.)

The first white settlers arrived in Vernonia in 1874. These pioneers came to farm, which required them to clear the land of the large timber. Lumber quickly became the dominant industry as the Central Coal and Coke company bought up much of the forest in the coast range, and sold this property and surrounding land to the Oregon American (OA) Lumber Company. The OA established the nearby logging camp called “Keasey Town” that once was home to 100 people and included a post office and school.

The yoga-farm and the surrounding area was logged in the 1920’s when the railroad was established. The railroad took the trees back into the town of Vernonia and it’s electric saw mill. The road to the yoga-farm follows Rock Creek and the right of way for the old railroad.

In the 1970’s the Alexander Family had an off grid summer cabin on this land. The property was used during this time for a community of musicians and “back to the land” folks for campfires, playing “timberbound” roots music, plant medicine and psychedelics, and the experimentation with channeling “cosmic awareness.”

The Gwinn’s, a logging family, purchased it from the Alexanders. And the current steward of the land, purchased it from the Gwinn Family. While the yoga-farm land retains the magical mystery of the forest, is a protected home for Grandmother Cedar, and will be preserved, the adjacent property is industrial forest, but is fortunately managed by an owner who believes in selective logging, rather than clear cutting.

Rock Creek is home to native populations of trout. Chinook and Coho salmon return here year after year to spawn. Second and third growth trees, including species big leaf maple, red leaf alder, vine maple, cedar, fir and hemlock, now populate the land. Many birds and animals call this land home including beaver, eagle, elk, cougar, coyote, hawk and heron.

More on the Native Peoples

The Chinookan peoples include several groups of indigenous people of the Pacific Northwest who speak the Chinookan languages. They were skilled fishers and hunters and some elite members practiced head binding, the practice of flattening their children’s forehead and top of the skull as a mark of social status. 

The Chinookan peoples were devastated by waves of epidemic diseases beginning with smallpox in the 1770s. Scholars estimate that more than 90 percent of the Chinookan population was wiped out by these epidemics, the worst of which was a malaria outbreak in the 1830s. Beginning in the 1850s, many surviving members of Chinookan groups were removed to the Grand Ronde, Warm Springs, and Quinault Indian reservations. 

The Chinook Indian Nation currently has 2700 members and have long had a community on the lower Columbia River. They re-organized in the 20th century, setting up an elected form of government and reviving tribal culture. Despite repeated attempts for recognition as a federally recognized sovereign tribe in the late 20th century, which would provide certain benefits for education and welfare, the U.S. government refuses to recognize them as an official tribe. 

The Clatskanie peoples at one time lived on the prairies bordering Chehalis River, Washington, at the mouth of Skookumchuck River, but on the failure of game, crossed the Columbia and occupied the mountains about Clatskanie River, their best-known historic seat. As of the 1910 census, only three members of the Clatskanie people were recorded.* 

*(Sources: Wikipedia, The Oregon History Project, and Access Genealogy) 

“It IS the event you imagine in the woods, where you get to be totally free…”

– 2019 Participant

Be-Coming 2021 begins with dinner on Saturday, August 14th and ends with lunch on Wednesday, August 18th. Event attendance is capped to ensure this remains an intimate gathering.

Registration:

Be-Coming is expected to fill to capacity and will not be able to accommodate everyone who expresses interest. The organizers’ goal is to bring together a diverse mix of approximately two dozen participants, ripe to create magic together in this amazing container. Attendees will be curated based on our conversations with the applicant, responses on the application form, and the timely receipt of deposits.  

Registration is anticipated to close by June 30th. Please use the time before registration closes to ask questions by email, talk to an organizer or previous attendee, tune in about whether you should attend, or do any other preparatory work needed to allow you to make a decision about your attendance.

To apply, complete the application form here. To receive updates, put your email address in the Updates Subscription below or email welcome@be-coming.org. 

Costs:

The costs below include lodging, meals, facilities, supplies, and compensation for the organizers’ time.

Camping + food (bring own towels and bedding) – $800/ person

Shared cabin + food (includes towels and bedding) – $950/ person

For those who consider themselves low-income:

Camping + food (bring own towels and bedding) – $625/ person

Shared cabin + food (includes towels and bedding) – $775/ person

Are there scholarships available?

Yes, we hope to make several partial or full scholarships available. Part of our re-wilding practice is to prioritize what has been habitually de-prioritized in our culture. From a financial support standpoint, we desire to give scholarship priority to BIPOC/LGBTQ+. To begin a dialog about scholarships, contact us at welcome@be-coming.org.

– Who is coming?

As this is an intimate event, Amanda, Kendall and Victor are inviting people whom they are already familiar and who have experience with somatic sexual exploration. There is a preference towards those whose work and lives have a strong connection to Earth and Earth-based practices.

For those who do not currently have familiarity with an organizer, we would like to include you, but we want to honor the intimacy of the container and will only include those who we feel are a good fit for the curated event. To start a conversation with an organizer, email welcome@becoming.org and let them know how you discovered the event.  

-Who are the people attending? 

Most of the people drawn to this retreat are guides themselves: experienced intimacy explorers who are skilled at knowing their own desires and boundaries and in communicating them.

We expect attendees to be attuned and track verbal and non-verbal signals from others (including the non-human); reverently and gracefully hear “no’s” and negotiate yummy and consensual “yes’s.” Attendees should know themselves well and take exquisite self-care: asking transparently for help and connection when needed, as well as giving and taking space as required. Attendees are devoted to healing of our world, and mending the perceived split between human and nature. The composition of the group will be carefully curated based on the registrations received. We expect to fill to capacity, and not everyone who expresses interest will be able to attend.

If you’d like to discover if anyone you know is attending, please reach out to us at welcome@be-coming.org. We are happy to talk with you to make sure you are comfortable, but we will not be releasing a list of Be-Coming attendees.

– Do I have to have a partner?

No. Partnered and non-partnered participants will be attending. Some people may have previous relationships or agreements with one or more people in attendance. Some people will have no previous agreements. We expect everyone to manage their own boundaries as sovereign individuals and look at Be-Coming as an opportunity to create new relationships with the Earth and all its beings, including those they have previously been in contact with. 

– What is the gender ratio?

Because gender is a spectrum, we are not able to categorize people in a way that would allow a mathematical calculation of ratios.

– How is this a safe space for every body?

All people are welcome here. All gender expressions. All sexual expressions. All races. All body types. All neurodiversities. All physical abilities. We are not having events that separate out any one gender or sexual type. If you have the need for support, particularly with mobility, please let us know. Please come resourced for your emotional/mental health needs and let us know what support you need as well.

– Are children or minors allowed?

No. Everyone needs to be over 18 years old.

– What have people said about previous events?

“Be-Coming was the most exquisite container I have ever been held in for my soft animal body to unwind and begin to rewild in nature. I am so thankful to the facilitators and all of the love and care they put into hand picking/ custom designing each aspect of this retreat to make it special to all of the individuals that comprised the group. I will “Be Coming” back next year.”

“A safe container to explore my erotic nature and erotic innocence – to unmask and sink into nature – to connect with both my deep joy and deep sadness around my sexuality – to be nourished by mama earth (the land, water, plants, place spirits) together with other human animals – to be open and authentic!”

“It IS the event you imagine in the woods, where you get to be totally free…”

“An amazing and fun personal and group sexual healing in a beautiful, magical natural setting.”

“An amazing and fun personal and group sexual healing in a beautiful, magical natural setting.”

– 2019 Participant

Covid:

We are shifting our definition of STI’s from sexually transmitted infections to socially transmitted infections. Just as we practice testing and clear communication around infections that are sexually transmitted, we ask you to be just as conscientious around those that are transmitted socially. We know people have different beliefs around Covid and being safe with it. We are reading and learning about best practices, vaccines, and guidelines as they evolve. Please be prepared to pre-isolate, take a test (either in the days before or on-site as you arrive), and communicate your Covid risks/precautions to the other attendees. We may make additional requests for keeping everyone as safe as possible as the event gets closer. Regardless of best practice guidelines, if you have any symptoms of illness, or are exposed to someone who tests positive for Covid in the 10 days before the event, please do not come. Your money will be applied to next year’s event, or refunded if possible.

Logistics/Travel:

– How do I get there? 

Liminalia is ~50 miles northwest of Portland (just over an hour drive), and 3 hours south of Seattle (via Longview, WA). The closest airport is PDX in Portland. Because we are an intimate group, it should be easy to find carpooling/ride shares. Email us and we can help coordinate. 

– Can I camp in my car/van?

Yes. There is a dirt road along the property where cars and vans will be parked. You may stay in your vehicle. Although, there are no electrical hookups.

– Is there cell service? WiFi?

The closest reliable cell service is 15 minutes away in the small town of Vernonia (along with the closest coffee shop, gas station, and restaurant). There is no cell service on the property for any carrier. The property does have a land line for phone calls.

Due to the limited bandwidth of the satellite internet connection and the desire for attendees to be connected to nature, WiFi access will not be provided. If you feel you need an exception to this request, please discuss this with the organizers prior to the event.

– Can I come late or leave early? Or leave for a portion?

We ask that you commit to be onsite for the entire event. You can arrive anytime after 2 PM on Saturday. We require everyone be present for the opening ritual on Saturday night.

– What do I need to bring?

Be-Coming is a co-created event and you will get out what you bring to it. 

Bring an open mind and willingness to explore (come hungry, not starving).  Bring your desires and offerings, and anything that will help you fulfill them.

Bring musical instruments, items for altars to Earth, Water, and Ancestors, art supplies, or other items that feed your creativity and connection to the planet. 

If you are camping, bring your desired sleeping gear, bath towel, swimming towel.

If you are staying in a cabin, all your bedding and towels will be provided. 

All attendees should bring a towel/sarong to sit on when naked.

– Are alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, or mind altering substances allowed?

You are likely to experience something mind altering during your time with us, and we encourage that transformation and experience. 

Be-Coming is designed to be a safe space for all, so we ask that you refrain from using any substances that could alter your ability to be fully present in your body and fully listening to the bodies of others at all times. If you feel you need an exception to this request, please discuss with the organizers prior to the event. Otherwise, the use of substances may result in your removal from the event and property.

– How will safer sex be supported?

The opening ritual will include a body-based consent calibration and everyone will be encouraged to practice setting and celebrating boundaries. The wild woods will have several stations containing safer sex supplies. If you have favorite/preferred products, please bring them with you.

– How will sexual status/STIs be communicated? 

Many, many, amazing erotic experiences happen without another partner. At Be-Coming, its possible to have mind-blowing sex with a shaft of sunlight, or someone’s deep brown eyes, or a soft mossy mound. While all of these involve getting non-verbal consent, human-to-human sexual interaction requires more awareness. 

Conversations about sexual health are important. In preparation for Be-Coming we request attendees complete our standard form (Sacred Scroll) prior to the event and get STI testing before the event (early August is ideal), so results are current. The Sacred Scroll is designed for you to review your sexual health before the event, so you will be prepared to communicate it with others.

Attendees are asked to bring copies of their Sacred Scrolls to share with potential partners. Printed copies will allow you to share and see other’s sexual status, STI’s and testing history, as well as sexual partner constellations and other items of note. A goal of the Sacred Scroll it to help everyone, regardless of STI’s and sexual history, feel comfortable with a sexual interaction with a new partner.  

In-the-moment verbal check-ins, reminders and clarifications and updates about STI status during the event are highly encouraged.

As a reminder, there are a wide range of sexual acts with humans and nature that do not have sexual health repercussions or necessitate the exchange of Scrolls.

– How will this event support my individual sexual expression?

We hope that the rituals and unstructured time allow each person to explore their unique sexual expression.  How do you want to be fed by, and have connection with the Earth? This event is an exploratorium for your desires, how you express yourself, to re-wild yourself, to expand your capacity to feel, and to know yourself as Earth. All variations, expressions, and explorations are welcomed and desired.

Conflict:

– How will you handle conflict?

Conflict and misunderstandings will happen.  Be-Coming will share a repair protocol to everyone on the first day. This is done so we can each easily ask for, and receive, repair in a mutually understood format. The steps are: listening, empathizing, acknowledging impact, taking ownership, and reassurance. 

Knowing how to clean it up when someone feels something went wrong, helps us feel more free to be ourselves.

– How can I get support if I need it?

Be-Coming is creating a small, intimate, temporary village and we invite people to come and participate in the spirit of building community and the willingness to witness others, even in distress. The three facilitators, Amanda, Kendall and Victor, will additionally be anchors for the overall event and interruptible if/when support needs arise. 

– What will you do if my boundaries get crossed?

You will be invited into a repair process to have your feelings heard and cared for. That process may or may not involve the person you had the boundary error with, depending on your preference.  Creating a container both playful and erotic requires integrity, exquisite safety, communication and accountability. 

We reserve the right to remove anyone, without refund, from Be-Coming should they engage in behavior deemed sexually predatory, causing harm, or appear to be unwilling to accept accountability or engage in repair work.