A few years ago, the medical community made a shift from describing the viruses and bacteria that are shared sexually from STDs (sexually transmitted disease) to STIs (sexually transmitted infections). They made this switch because some of the most common diseases have no signs or symptoms in those who are infected. “So the sexually transmitted viruses or bacteria can be described as creating “infection,” which may or may not result in “disease.”” (American Sexual Health Association).
In this new world of Covid-19, I’d like to offer another shift — from looking at STIs as sexually transmitted infection, to socially transmitted infections. Self-isolation has become the new abstinence. Face masks, the new condom. We now do risk calculations not just when we meet a new lover, but also when we go out to get groceries.
We are not capable of living on Earth without our microbial family living in relationship with us. They digest our food inside of us in our gut, they live on our skin and eyes and they occupy our genitals. Like all creatures, some are more welcome inhabitants than others!
For the 2019 Be-Coming event, we provided all attendees with a “Sacred Scroll” — a template designed to help each person ask the question: “Who am I hosting?” The scroll was designed to inspire attendees to take the powerfully aware step of educating ourselves and our partners about who we’re hosting, without shame, stigma and alarmism.
In a post-Covid world, we each will need to add to our scrolls our history, exposure, and risk behaviors and tolerance around social infections like Covid. My hope is that by the time of our gathering in mid-July, the U.S. will have more availability for Covid-testing, and that the need to social distance to “flatten the curve” will have decreased dramatically. There are still many unanswered questions, but I trust that answers will unfurl over the next few months.
As I sit in a house practicing physical-isolation, I’m also thinking about socially transmitted infections in a broader view: The laughter that spreads through a cuddle pile, the waves of sounds of a self-pleasure circle, the intimacy that deepens with each successive, vulnerable share in a group. These are also socially transmitted infections I want to contract at Be-Coming.
Covid-19 is giving us the opportunity to look at ourselves, and the billions of bacteria and viruses we host, in a new light. It’s also helped me look at social infections in a way that brings up fewer stories of fear and more feelings of desire. We won’t know whether Be-Coming 2020 will still occur as we envisioned, but we promise to keep you posted. In the meantime, we welcome any thoughts you have on how your thoughts are shifting towards a post-Covid world.